I asked you yesterday what you might like for mother's day this year. You responded with a look of disbelieve, (like I should be able to figure this out on my own without even asking) and a request to sleep in, dinner and the like Seriously, some of us need a little help, So I scanned my brain and thought that I could pay you tribute on this blog of yours. Mind you that I have been a bit gun shy of blogging since I once wrote something and you quickly posted it for me with the title "this just in from anne." a seriously uncomfortable moment for me. So this blog post is two fold, to honor your contributions to our child's life and so she knows, down the road, when she reads this, what an honor it is to be parented by you.


First there was the search for the means to get pregnant. Should we use a bank (please note that I am trying to avoid the use of the word sperm here) or a known donor. Now you had several donors in mind that you were interviewing and maybe some of them got the wrong idea, like matrimony mike, who it seemed, was interested in making a direct deposit, not necessarily to give us a child I remember your face lighting up when it suddenly came to you who to ask. You were on fire with the idea and asked many of your best pals what they thought. Finally you talked to Bonnie about Alex and she was in excited agreement and thought you should waste no time asking him if he would help us have a child (and her a grandchild). We met with Alex and interviewed each other to see if this could be a fit. To our delight, he agreed! Then you started reading about insemination, purchased several million ovulation detectors and pregnancy tests on ebay, and tracked your cycle to perfect the timing. Now, anyone who knows you, knows I am not fabricating the intensity of how you do things. Pregnancy and parenting call for studious research and deep thinking.

It is unclear to me what you started to research during the pregnancy. Was it breast feeding, vaccines or could it have been preschools, grade schools, high schools or colleges? Maybe it was the link between nutrition and criminology? At any rate, there has been on going studies in this home of how best to give Adah a good life in every way.

Adah came into our lives with a scream, and we were to endure this colicky vocal expression for several months. There was strain on our lives, and you carried on.,

She was obviously in the right place for love and nurture through this trying time. Though sometimes I could see the thin line of "i don't know how to do this' widen into the crack of "i cannot do this", then, when she was at your breast, that chasm filled and was no longer visible.

Our daughter is sure to have eaten 150# of carrots, 1/4 # of flax seed, 2 quarts of fish oil and 700 gourmet meals, prepared with all organic ingredients (of course) and has been denied any sugar, or processed food for most of her life.

To my surprise, you have loosened up a bit. (I wonder if the time frame linking poor nutrition to criminology has passed?) She still eats mostly organic foods, but occasionally, she gets something yummy. A piece of chocolate or an ice-cream for a treat. The other day, when you discovered that a friend's child has chicken pocks and we zoomed over for exposure. You whipped out a candy cane and encouraged Adah to share with the infected kiddo. What a mess, the amount of sugars in that candy even made me cringe! Last night, you dished her up cereal and sternly told her you were not going to make her another meal, that it was cereal for dinner. She dashed away giggling with delight. Adah's book shelves strain to hold all the wonderful books you keep up to date for her.

I could go on and on, but here it is, Mother's Day, you are sleeping in and I am behind schedule in this writing.

Megan, is an absolute honor to be so close to you on this journey, I know that I shake my head sometimes at your intensity, however, i think you are a marvelous mom.

How does one measure their success as a mother/parent? I suppose there will be rewards later, like the personal achievements in education and career. That her mind will be wide open and not clouded with racism, classism or other social fears. But my measuring stick is a simpler one; when I see you and her dash into each others arms when you have been apart for even an hour or two, I know that you are successful. That warm and excited way that you love each other, now that, that is success.